Why do many couples start panicking over low sex drive?
In my view the short answer is fear.
Our mind is a bundle of desires (for pleasure) and fear (of pain).
For some of us, under certain circumstances like Covid, our habits breaks away, and with them our confidence.
For example, along with human lives losses, Covid changed our habits, as we suddenly found ourselves to live almost entirely at home because of travel restrictions. While this had a positive effect on the environment including better quality of air, less industrial pollution, reinforced ozone layer, increased population of marine and wildlife, on the other side being forced not to travel and to live in the same room for months has been a tough experience for many.
Mental issues have soared during the pandemic.
Fear, worries, and stress are normal responses to perceived threats.
Faced with new realities of working from home, temporary unemployment, home-schooling of children, and lack of physical contact with other family members, friends and colleagues, we can easily develop body-mind imbalances.
For example, putting on weight is common when we overeat in the attempt of coping with stress. For this reason is important to follow a regular routine like exercise and eating only at a certain time. Continuous eating can be disastrous for our body-mind complex.
The intimate life with our partner can be heavily affected by a prolonged lockdown.
For example, the individual may become more intolerant and get irritate very quickly. Discussions become trivial and more aggressive and at some point we find ourselves in the wrong place and we want to escape.
Fine, but how to fix it?
The short answer is love.
Not worldly love, but selfless love. As the Indian culture says: love gives and forgive, while desire get and forget.
When the libido is low desire follows because they're the same thing, but while desire is selective, love is not.
This means that we can still love our partner even when our libido is low.
That's right, an act of love is not necessarily sexual.
So, you don't need to take viagra or other medications, because there is nothing to cure.
Just don't create a disease where there is none.
Low sex drive is most of the time due to sensible causes which converge to our body-mind complex. It's temporary and it will be back as soon as the root cause is resolved.
In a more spiritual way, remember that this happen to the person, and the person is just a product of imagination. [1]
In reality nothing happens, so why worrying about it?
Instead of reacting to the loss of desire, we could try to use it as an opportunity to improve, to detach ourselves from the person we imagine to be.
That way we transform a threat into a an opportunity to be free from our own worries and fears, which are mentally created.
I think the practice of human values is simple and effective to clean up our mind, and to move forwards to the inner journey of peace and love. [2]
[1] https://www.fempton.com/uxton/blog3/2020-09-27-11-53-30
[2] https://www.fempton.com/uxton/human-values
For some of us, under certain circumstances like Covid, our habits breaks away, and with them our confidence.
For example, along with human lives losses, Covid changed our habits, as we suddenly found ourselves to live almost entirely at home because of travel restrictions. While this had a positive effect on the environment including better quality of air, less industrial pollution, reinforced ozone layer, increased population of marine and wildlife, on the other side being forced not to travel and to live in the same room for months has been a tough experience for many.
Mental issues have soared during the pandemic.
Fear, worries, and stress are normal responses to perceived threats.
Faced with new realities of working from home, temporary unemployment, home-schooling of children, and lack of physical contact with other family members, friends and colleagues, we can easily develop body-mind imbalances.
For example, putting on weight is common when we overeat in the attempt of coping with stress. For this reason is important to follow a regular routine like exercise and eating only at a certain time. Continuous eating can be disastrous for our body-mind complex.
The intimate life with our partner can be heavily affected by a prolonged lockdown.
For example, the individual may become more intolerant and get irritate very quickly. Discussions become trivial and more aggressive and at some point we find ourselves in the wrong place and we want to escape.
Fine, but how to fix it?
The short answer is love.
Not worldly love, but selfless love. As the Indian culture says: love gives and forgive, while desire get and forget.
When the libido is low desire follows because they're the same thing, but while desire is selective, love is not.
This means that we can still love our partner even when our libido is low.
That's right, an act of love is not necessarily sexual.
So, you don't need to take viagra or other medications, because there is nothing to cure.
Just don't create a disease where there is none.
Low sex drive is most of the time due to sensible causes which converge to our body-mind complex. It's temporary and it will be back as soon as the root cause is resolved.
In a more spiritual way, remember that this happen to the person, and the person is just a product of imagination. [1]
In reality nothing happens, so why worrying about it?
Instead of reacting to the loss of desire, we could try to use it as an opportunity to improve, to detach ourselves from the person we imagine to be.
That way we transform a threat into a an opportunity to be free from our own worries and fears, which are mentally created.
I think the practice of human values is simple and effective to clean up our mind, and to move forwards to the inner journey of peace and love. [2]
[1] https://www.fempton.com/uxton/blog3/2020-09-27-11-53-30
[2] https://www.fempton.com/uxton/human-values
